The Boat is making it’s last Transatlantic crossing, well, let me rephrase that, I’m making my last transatlantic crossing. My fourth; Ft. Lauderdale to Ireland, Holland to New York City, New York City to Holland and now, finally, Spain to Ft. Lauderdale. When looking at the schedule after extending, this crossing was the beginning of the end, when we hit Ft. Lauderdale, only three voyages left.
This crossing will take seven days. (Seven Seas Daze, get it?) I’m going to document the voyage, ‘cause, well, that’s what I do…. To get yourself in the mood; grab your laptop, find a pool, float in middle so you see nothing but water and after each day you read about, set you clock back an hour. Sit back, relax and enjoy.
Day One:
- 9:30 AM – Family breakfast on the Lido – I’m going to try to eat breakfast everyday, it is the most important meal of the day after all…
- 11:30 AM – VIP cocktail party in the Crow’s Nest. Rocky seas and early morning schmoozin’ and boozin’ don’t really go hand in hand…
- 12:30 PM – Family lunch on the Lido.
- 1:30 PM – Back in my cabin to begin the crossing off of projects. On todays list, correspondence (Read: Christmas Cards and Postcards). Since we’re back in America after six months across the pond, I can finally drop things in the mail for the folks back home.
- 3:45 PM – Gym. The goal is to hit the gym hard every day of the crossing, also, no baked goods or simple carbs for the week, I need to get back down to my pre-cruising weight before we hit the beaches of the South Pacific. Also if I want to book another gig I gotta get back into fighting weight.
- 5:45 PM – Blog.
- 6:00 PM – Rehearsal for the crew show. The Cast is putting on a very special version of the Girly Show for the crew. No Browns allowed, so it’s going to be very, very, very dirty…
- 7:00 PM – Gym. I said I was going to hit it hard…threw in another half hour of cardio just for the hell of it.
- 8:00 PM – Dinner. In-Room Dinning – I have perks, I need to use them. On the menu tonight, penne primavera with chicken and a caesar salad.
- 9:30 PM – Watched the new Glee, legally downloaded by a friend who was kind enough to let me borrow it – season three is killing me, episode five was brilliant…
- 11:30 PM – Wanted to spend a little quality drinking time in OB, but the rocking got worse. For the first time in fifteen months I’m a little seasick….Blah….
- 12:00 AM – Bed. Even though it’s hour back and it’s really 11:00 I’m pooped after my full and productive day and if I don’t I’m gonna throw-up.
Day Two:
- 9:30 AM – Family breakfast on the Lido. Family breakfast just about ended up turning into family lunch as we were all gibbering on about tonight’s crew show and the changes to the Girly Show that we’ve come up with. We finally got asked to leave by the staff so they could prepare for the next meal.
- 11:45 AM – Combined rehearsal for The Girly Show and The Girly Crew Show lasted two and a half hours. All involved were doubled over with laughter, I just hope everyone else thinks it as brilliantly funny as we do…
- 1:45 PM – Family lunch on the Lido – Starving! All that rehearsing had me sweating buckets, and if I didn’t eat something I was going to pass out. I don’t think I need to do as much cardio today as I did yesterday.
- 2:45 PM – Blog.
- 3:00 PM – Nap.
- 4:15 PM – Gym.
- 6:00 PM – Dinner. While the OB doesn’t offer the same variety as the Lido, sometimes it’s much easier to stay underground. Especially after 90 minutes of cardio.
- 7:15 PM – Shower.
- 7:30 PM – Call for The Girly Show – I still can’t believe we only have four more of these left on our contract.
- 8:00 PM – The Girly Show
- 9:45 PM – Call for the second Girly Show
- 10:00 PM – The Girly Show
- 11:00 PM – Call for The Girly Show, Director’s Cut Crew Show
- 11:45 PM – Crew Show
- 1:00 AM – Let the drinking begin…
Day Three:
I found a note on my desk this morning, “Call me if you want to know what happened last night.”
What?
As I looked for my glasses, I tried to retrace my steps.
After the crew show, which was a blast, we all went to the OB to bask in our accolades. I was slightly intoxicated at that point, when someone handed me a bottle of Grey Goose from which I took a swig; a very big swig, well, more like a gulp, a big gulp from 7/11, but I digress…I rang the bell and bought everyone in the place a shot – I was drunk, I was feeling love in my heart, it’s very rare – that’s all I remember.
The rest of the day was spent piece together the rest.
“You fell…I think…I was drunk, I’m not sure.”
“You fell, twice in the OB…I saw it. It was awesome.”
“Ok, so, you didn’t fall. You tried to sit but there was no chair. You started laughing and blamed it on the rocking. Someone helped you onto a stool and mere seconds later, you and the stool were on the floor.”
“Now, the ship was rockin’ something fierce, right when you fell the second time the port holes looked like washing machines, we were really tipped over.”
“I’m not sure who it was, but you were swept away real fast.”
“I think the Second Officer took you to your cabin.”
“Well, I heard a thud and from your room and it sounded bad. First Officer used his master key and we found you in a heap, sitting in a pool of vomit. At least you tried to make it to the bathroom. We couldn’t leave you there, so he got you in the shower, washed and dried you and I cleaned up the mess. We put you into bed, tucked you in and I wrote the note…”
I won the Party-Girl crown. Two falls in public, puke in private and no memory of any of it. The moral of the story – don’t drink tequila. At least I was a happy drunk…
Day Four:
- 10:00 AM – Family breakfast was pushed back due to the fact we found out one of our own was put into isolation because of flulike symptoms and a high grade fever. It wouldn’t be so bad if we didn’t have the Duets Show tonight…there’s going to be some major re-blocking at tech today. I have no idea how the show is going to look like with only one dancer, but as they say, the show must go on.
- 11:30 AM – I feel like shit, I’m all stuffed up and runny nose at the same time. I’m achy, but unsure if I’m still hungover from the binge drinking of day two or the hangover of day three or if it’s from the biggest loser-like workouts I’ve been doing. Aside from the stuffy nose, my eyes are burning and I feel a wee bit nauseous…luckily, no fever.
- 11:45 AM – Tech. The show looks great, even with one dancer down. I work with some of the most professional people on the Seven Seas.
- 1:30 PM – Family lunch on the Lido.
- 2:30 PM – Nap.
- 5:30 PM – I gave myself a good scrubbing (read: facial) which made me feel a little better. The nap, not so much…
- 6:30 PM – Dinner in the OB was so unappetizing; nothing looked good. I had a few bites of linguini with bland red sauce and half an orange.
- 7:30 PM – Call for the Duets Show.
- 8:00 PM – Duets Show
- 9:00 PM – Blog.
- 9:45 PM – Call for second Duets Show.
- 10:00 PM – Duets Show
- 11:30 PM – Crew bingo and raffle. I really don’t know why I bother, I’ve bought raffle tickets every month for fifteen months and I’ve never won anything!
- 12:00 AM – Entertainment department party in the Showroom – pizza and beer, I’m there, head-cold or no.
- 2:00 AM – Bed, it’s really 1:00 AM so it’s really not that late. I think there are still two hour backs to go before we hit Ft. Lauderdale – then we have three more the following week as we head through the Panama Canal and down to Lima, Peru – I’ve lost track, my body clock is so out of whack…
Day Five:
- 9:30 AM – Family breakfast on the Lido. People are dropping off like flies, there were only two of us this morning…the head-cold almost kept me away as well, but you know the old saying, “Feed a cold….”
- 10:45 AM – Cooking with the stars of the Showroom at Sea. Every so often, when sea days are numerous, the Party Planner invites three of us to have a cook-off. Today was hamburgers. I didn’t win, even though mine tasted unbelievable, a barbecue, bacon, pepper jack cheese burger, but I had a blast, it’s nice to be with the people, sometimes.
- 12:00 PM – Nap.
- 2:00 PM – As I was flipping through our limited TV channels, I discovered we had CNN, TNT, TMC and The Cartoon Network again. Whoo hoo!!! After six months of Dutch Soap Operas, German Sports programing, and CNN & BBC International, we have American television again. Well, American television that isn’t the Republican Party propaganda machine known as Fox News. I gotta say though, The Christmas commercials are killing me. I can’t believe time has flown by so quickly At home it’s winter, Thanksgiving is right around the corner, Christmas down the street and a new year will begin before you know it. When all is said and done, I will have spent the better part of three calendar years on this Boat.
- 4:00 PM – Blog – while watching TNT…
- 6:00 PM – Cross another item of my projects list – while watching TNT. This time it’s patches. I’ve been collecting patches from everywhere I’ve visited. Well, everywhere they’ve been available; shockingly Bulgaria and The Ukraine aren’t patch producing countries. I decided to sew all the European patches on a backpack I bought in Holland, it was certainly a labor of love, my fingertips are bleeding, but I now have a unique memory of the most exciting part of my Grand Voyage.
- 8:00 PM – Dinner – while watching TNT…there’s something so comforting about a Law and Order mini marathon.
- 12:00 PM – finally stop watching TNT and go to bed.
Day Six:
- 9:30 AM – Family breakfast, and then there was one…
- 10:00 AM – Clean room. I’m feeling much better so when I say “Clean room,” I’m talking scrubbing and spraying it down with Lysol. Stripping the bed, washing the sheets and blankets; cleaning out the mini-fridge preparing for American grocery shopping – deli meat and Sweet Italian Cream here I come – I even did a little purging and rearranging. With only two months, two weeks left, it’s time to start simplifying. I am NOT bringing all this crap home!
- 12:00 PM – While I’m not in tonight’s show, I stopped by rehearsal to repair a broken costume, it my other job, if I take another contract, I won’t be doing that again – no extra responsibilities for me. I think that’s going to be my new mantra.
- 12:30 PM – Continue the sewing projects, this time my own, I’ve let my mending slide, since I have nothing but time today may as well get caught up.
- 1:45 PM – Internet.
- 1:46 PM – Internet down…
- 2:00 PM – Hit the gym and sauna to try to get the remainder of this head cold out of my head.
- 3:45 PM – Self administered scalp treatment and facial. After five and a half miles, and twenty minutes in the sauna, I feel better than I’ve felt in days, there’s no reason I can’t make myself look as pretty as I feel.
- 4:30 PM – Blog.
- 5:30 PM – Dinner in the OB, it seems after six days at sea The Boat is running out of food. The choices, though few, were at least eatable tonight, barely. I’m craving Chinese takeout something awful.
- 6:00 PM – I’ve been told, “If you take a nap after 6:00 PM it’s not a nap, it’s going to bed.” Well then, I guess, I’m going to bed…
- 8:00 PM – Okay, I didn’t go to bed. I started another music and picture organizing project. I’m never happy with my iTunes and Aperture. There is so much data and it never seems as accessible to me as it should be. Now, I’m going to bed.
- 9:00 PM – I had my arm twisted to attend the “Black and White Party” in the Crow’s Nest. Now, if it had been a “Black and White Ball” I wouldn’t have needed any pushing, if there’s a ball, I’m there…but a party? How much fun is that going to be? I’ve got an outfit and an open mind, fun will be had.
- 10:00 PM – Let’s get this party started!
- 12:30 AM – Dancing, laughter and frivolity ensued at the Black and White Party. Cold medication and wine make Vinnie a very happy boy. The band played great tunes and when the DJ took over the dance floor was packed. Of course it was mostly crew with the passengers hanging back taking pictures of all us idiots but theres nothing wrong with turning a public event into a crew party, nothing wrong with that at all.
- 11:30 PM – Another hour back, got me bed at a decent hour. Six hour backs in seven days, my body doesn’t know what time it is and neither do I.
Day Seven:
- 8:30 AM – I’ve run out of coffee! My French Press hasn’t been used in two days now and it’s killing me. There is really no good coffee on the Boat. The Lido coffee is more like brown water and the Crew Mess coffee is unmentionable. In the Exploration Cafe, there is Italian coffee but unless it’s something super sweet such as a Carmel Latte that too is undrinkable, but in a pinch, it has to do.
- 9:45 AM – Family breakfast on the Lido.
- 10:15 AM – Call for disembarkation talk.
- 10:30 AM – We sing one song at the disembarkation talk which is usually on the last sea day of the cruise. It’s really quite nice for the passengers, they’re usually crying and snapping pictures. For us, it’s fifteen minutes we’ll never get back…
- 10:45 AM – Make rounds. The entertainers fan out around the ship to boost ratings. A little schmoozing goes a long way.
- 11:30 AM – Blog, while listening to Christmas music – don’t judge me!
- 12:30 PM – Lunch in the OB – damn, the food sucks!
- 1:00 PM – Coffee run.
- 1:15 PM – Nothing, really I did nothing, no blogging, no TV, no project, no napping, nothing. An hour and a half just gone.
- 2:45 PM – Call for Cast Chat and Backstage Tour. Cast Chat is when the passengers get to ask the cast whatever they want. The Backstage Tour takes all of five minutes ‘cause all they tour is the dressing room. I guess it’s interesting for them, for us, not so much…they all ask the same questions; “Where are you from?” “What training do you have?” “What will you do next?” “Are you married?” “Do you like traveling?” “Does a helicopter come and pick you up between shows?”
- 4:00 PM – Snack-time – Okay, a cheeseburger mayn’t be a snack for everyone, but today, it is for me…
- 4:30 PM – Nap. It was unplanned, actually, it was the last thing I wanted to do…
- 6:30 PM – Dinner in the OB, the beer made it palatable…
- 8:00 PM – I sat in my cabin with the door open as the 90 crew members who are disembarking parade by to get their luggage screened. It’s easier to say goodbye this way, tomorrow I’m working the full crew inspection, passing out passports and seaman’s books starting at 6:00 AM, the traditional OB good-bye party is not on the schedule…I sorta wish I was one of those 90.
- 10:00 PM – Bed.
Seven days at sea.
Six hour backs.
Miles of ocean with no land in sight.
I filled my days, to help the boredom pass. The week flew by and on day eight, after full crew immigration, fire drill, general drill, and coast guard drill, we were rewarded with soil, American soil to make matters even better.
I made it through.
The end is near.
Three voyages. Then it’s back to the real world; auditions, survival jobs, friends and family, until, that is, the next time.
