for your VINformation: an old man & the seas

Internet Access

vinnie costa — Sun, 29 Aug 2010 18:18:49 +0000

Satellite internet isn’t as cool as it sounds. I thought it’d be reals fast, but it’s not and, it’s not free either. We don’t pay what the guests pay, but we still have to pay for it – $20.00 for 200 minutes or $40.00 for 450 minutes.

…WANH, Wanh, wanh…

I’m used to having a connection, a teather if you will, to the outside world via my computer and not being connected every waking minute is slightly disturbing.

I say “slightly” ’cause I’m having mixed feelings about it… I like the disconnect and don’t like the disconnect at the same time, I’m conflicted. Boat life is NOT reality, well, it’s a different kind of reality

I don’t know what’s going on in the world ’cause I don’t have my friends Facebook updates to keep me abreast on the latest goings-on, I can’t check my email everyday, and worst of all, I can’t blog.

Now of course, I can write off line and transfer it to my my online blog editing software – which is what I did today – but I’m used to blogging while online which allows me to check facts, add links and the such.

I feel I’m letting my faithful readers, both Jew and Gentile, down by not posting everyday. But now that we’ve completed turnover and don’t have 12-14 hour daily rehearsals anymore, you should be seeing a lot more of me.

Dear Diary… My First Week

vinnie costa — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 00:08:36 +0000

Thursday, August 12th

Dear Diary,

We leave Los Angeles tomorrow, on Friday the 13th, a fitting day for us to fly, if you ask me, but no one’s really asking…I’m pretty much offering up the information.

Oh Diary, I’m so scared, well, excited and scared, it’s a whole new world, a whole new dazzling point of view – how many song quotes can I fit into one sentence? – I’m so excited! (for the record, that’s three.)

I’m all packed and ready to go, I wish we could’ve left today so we could’ve had some time in Seattle to get necessity shopping done but I’ll make do, it’s what I do.

I think I’ll get a manicure today, I can’t get on the Boat with rough paws, can I?

Best,

Vinnie

Friday, August 13th

Dear Diary,

We flew at 6:00pm – LA to Seattle – from my seat in First Class – again an upgrade was as economical as paying for my luggage and it’s overweight charges, I couldn’t not go First Class – I could actually see the Dorm get smaller and smaller, ugh, I hope I never see that place again!

It was an uneventful flight except for when my seat mate, a traveling nurse, offered me a Percocet! I politely declined and instead ordered another free Bloody Mary.

Getting to the hotel from the airport was quite the adventure in and of itself; two hotel shuttles drove past us and all our luggage before one finally stopped; and when it did, it left a few of us behind. They were forced to wait for the next one but they ended up taking a taxi and beat the rest of us there by almost twenty minutes! After checking-in, around 10:45pm, and getting our free hot cookie, we made a Walgreens run to stock up on toiletries – it wasn’t sensible to pack body wash and other heavy personal items into our already overpacked bags, we’re working on a Boat, not leaving the civilized world – over a hundred dollars later and a trip to the lobby bar for a nightcap it was time for bed, in fact it was past time for bed. Calling the front desk to request a wake-up call for 5:00am at 2:00am is hard to wrap your brain around but falling asleep was hardly an option… the excitement of a new adventure was pumping my body full of adrenaline.

Well, that’s enough for tonight, Diary, Auntie’s reals tired…

I remain,

Vinnie

Saturday, August 14th:

Dear Diary,

My wakeup call came at 5:00am as requested. Three hours sleep is never enough, but I did it when I was younger and I’ll sure as hell make it work now. But one question, “Where’s the coffee?” I’m glad I decided to shower before bed – side note: that was the last day I’ll have a roommate, and while I had a great one, it’ll be fantastic to have a room to myself again, I’m all grown-up you know…

I’m outside with over fifty others with a year’s worth of luggage waiting for the crew bus at 6:00am.

We leave the hotel 6:45am.

It was hard staying awake but the butterflies in my stomach were doing a great job of keeping me from napping during the ride… as the bus pulled up to the Boat, and I’m talking right up to side of the Boat, I began to feel overwhelmed.

After a quick talk from the personnel manager and passing through the metal detectors we went up the crew gang plank. The first thing to do? A safety meeting, before anything else; when you’re on a Boat, it’s very, very important to know all the safety procedures, they test you when you’re new in fact, every available chance they can. All newbies were given a form with which they’re required to get signed off by various officers as we checked-off what was required of us, getting our name tags and ID badges, taking environmental tests, turning in our medical forms and proof of vaccinations, etc., etc.

I’m on the Boat – and to be honest Diary, there were a few days back there when I didn’t think I was going to make it this far – now, I’m moved into the cabin I’ll be living in for the next nine months, I’m unpacking and pretty much trying to get settled and for the first time is all feels real and more importantly, worth it and just right.

I’m living on a floating island, a moving city. Everyone else in the cast is in the theatre blocking the opening night bumper – I’m not in it – so I’m in my room cabin unpacking and getting settled.

We start rehearsing the Standard Show at midnight, I wonder if I can get a nap in?

I need to get myself to a Target and reals fast! When do we dock?

With excitement,

Vinnie

Sunday, August 15th

Diary, My Dear, Diary,

I fell like Madeleine, living at the Plaza. I don’t need to cook, I don’t need to clean my bathroom or make my bed or vacuum my carpet. Everything’s laid out for me, they won’t even let you “self-serve” on the Lido Deck for lunch or dinner for the first two days of the voyage to help combat the “norwalk” GI infections which apparently strike big Boats on a regular basis. I got my name tag and my cast member ID card, I’ve gone through all the new hire meetings and safety demos and now it’s time to put up the Standards Show.

Over the course of one day, we had a blocking rehearsal, a “heads and feet” tech and a full dress run, (tomorrow we do one more dress with the band.) Because we’re on a full Boat and there are other activities happening all over including the theater we can’t get rehearse during normal hours so it’s a lot of early mornings and late, late nights.

I’m still making my cabin as homey as possible, but haven’t had the chance to meet my cabin steward. I’d like to know who’s coming into my room cabin. I’d also like to let him know how I’d like things done, I’m a little OCD and I like things done a certain way…I mean, really, Diary, I’m very low maintenance and if things are done my way, there’ll be no problems.

I’m still,

Vinnie

Monday, August 16th

Diary Dear,

It’s a show night. Two shows in fact – we do two shows a night, 8pm & 10pm. Our theater holds 800 people – our passenger compliment is 1500, therefore the need for two. But the shows are just under an hour so it feels more like a first and second act with a reals long intermission.

During the Final Dress with the band the Boat docked in the capitol of Alaska. (That’s Juneau, if you didn’t know, I try to teach, it’s what I do.) The rumor is, if we do a good job, they’ll let us get off…

We did a good job!

We’re getting off the Boat! Whoo Hoo!

First stop, Terry’s King Crab Shack for crab bisque, legs and cakes – as Rachel Ray would say, YUMMO!

The second stop was Fred Meyer’s – it’s supposed to be better than Walmart, but, really, not so much – to pick-up almost $200.00 worth of “necessities.” I swear, I needed everything I bought, well maybe not the black, leather-ette storage ottoman but, really, everything else!

I finally met my cabin steward, his name is Mouss’f ”…but you can call me Max if you can’t pronounce Mouss’f … most guests can’t.”

I’m not ‘most guests.’ I’ll call him Mouss’f.

To insure good service, I tipped him twenty bucks and so far I’ve gotten everything I’ve asked for; from extra boxes of facial tissue to a guest chair, door stop and second trash can. He’s great, there’s something to be said for coming into your room cabin after a long day and having the bed made and fresh towels – these first two weeks are the “long days” afterward it’ll be smooth sailing.

The show was a smashing success. The audience response was amazing. My cruise-ship debut was great. I think the cast chemistry really makes any cheesy-factor disappear as we really look like we’re having fun up there because we are. The second show was taped and we were told the powers-that-be back in LA will be very happy with our final product.

It’s taken me a few days to get used to the rocking and swaying of the ship while walking – or singing on stage – but when getting ready for bed there’s nothing like it. It feels as if you’re being rocked to sleep, it may take me a little time to get used to sleeping without it when I get off..

As always,

Vinnie

Tuesday, August 17th

Dearest Diary,

I’m starting to feel a wee bit rundown.

The days are running together – immediately after the Standards Show at midnight, we started blocking the Duets Show. I’m going to need to start wearing a watch – the duty and tax free store on board is wicked-awesome, mayhaps I get one in the ship, I’ve already bought some cologne, Burberry Sport, it’s very manly, just like me – since boarding, I never know what time it is.

Today was the first day we had some rough seas, which isn’t bad it feels as if I’m a baby being rocked to sleep but when I’m trying to be funny on stage or walk to the Lido Deck it’s just one more thing I have to keep in mind… “Must stay upright.”

I finished getting all the signatures on my nee-op card – tracking down some of the officers wasn’t as easy as I thought it’d be; since I’m new to the Boat, I didn’t know where everyone’s offices were – I guess that’s one of the reasons they make you do it, so you can learn where everything is…

Diary, this week is all about napping; the schedule is so messy the-powers-that-be give us breaks just for that purpose. Since there’s no porthole in my cabin (finally got that right…) – as I fix it up it’s becoming more and more a studio apartment, I’m going to start calling it “My Flat” – it’s real easy to sleep, a flick of a switch and it’s nighttime all day long.

We’re putting up the Duet Show today – I haven’t had much time off – but to be honest, it’s still better than waiting on tables or slinging drinks!

Exhaustedly,

Vinnie

Wednesday, August 18th

Diary Dearest,

On today’s agenda, a Duets Show full dress with the band in the afternoon and two shows tonight. I wonder how my number will go with the live band since I’ve been doing it with just a piano or a cappella… and I’ve never done it with a real audience member

Be right back.

My goodness, I love working with professionals, the band killed me with the way they backed me up and followed me everywhere I led them and again, my leads knocked it outta the park, tonight, I’m sure it’s gonna be awesome.

BRB, nap-time.

I feel like a cat; sleep, eat, poop, play, repeat.

Just like I predicted, the show was a huge success, The first passenger I pulled up was named ‘Love’ and from Russia – I’m pissed I missed the obvious joke, “So, your husband came From Russia With Love?” In my head, all I could think of was “What if she can’t speak English!” During the second show I pulled up a young gal from West Virginia, who was wearing her PJs, and yes, I got that joke right out, reals fast.

We have no rehearsal tonight, so I’ve got seven straight hours of sleep in my future. The first time in a while, I wonder what it’ll fell like?

Nighty-night,

Vinnie

Thursday, August 19th

D-

The Duet Show was amazing! The two leads, sing the shit outta it and if I don’t say so myself, my little specialty number is reals good.

Girls Show rehearsal, 8am to 2am, seven quick costume changes, with wigs and facial hair, no dresser. That’s all I gots to say… but it’s still better than slinging drinks…

So, so very tired.

-V

Friday, August 20th

When did I start keeping a diary? If my laptop wasn’t open…

What time is it? Where am I? What day is this? Thursday? Friday?

Who said that? Is there someone here? Am I speaking out loud? Where am I?

Oh snap, my hotel moving!

Must sleep…

What’s my name again?

Another two-show day, with a full Dress/Tech at noon – wait, stop the presses, just found out, it’s only one show!

Whoo hoo! Time for a nap!

We will return after these messages…

What a difference six hours of sleep makes.

I’m starting to get used to these wacky schedules, which concerns me just a wee bit ’cause when we’re done putting everything up and we’re just doing the shows there won’t be nearly as much to do; I need to get to a craft store and stock up – some of my regular readers are recipients of my hand-made greeting cards and I figured I wouldn’t have the ability to continue that tradition while on the Boat, but it looks as if I were wrong. Now, I wish I’d packed my supplies so I wouldn’t have to buy everything anew…

A nearly-near flawless run of the Girls Show at 9:30pm…

Everything I touched fell apart – not my songs, ‘ography or words, mind you, I’m talking the set and even one of my cast-mates! The audience reaction was fantastic – a standing ovation, even – so I don’t think they minded I took-out half the set…

Tonight we drink!

Vinnie McBooze-hound

Saturday, August 21st

Diary, My Diary,

With the exception of a 5:45am immigration check for all new embark-ees, I’ve got nothing to do today!

It’s the last day of the first cruise and first day of the second, I have the next three days off while the rest of my cast does the opening night bumper and puts-up the Popera Show – neither of which I’m in.

Diary, this has been a whirlwind of a week and I gots to tell you, I think I could get reals used to living like this – traveling, seeing new sights, singing for a living, not having to clean my flat, fresh towels whenever I need them, free laundry services and dry-cleaning even. So far the only noticeable check in the negative column is the lack of a Starbucks, but my handy french press and in room fridge helps me move that over to the positive the column.

I may never go back and live on land…

Until next time, I am and always will be, the one and only,

Vinnie

Today Is The First Day…

vinnie costa — Sat, 14 Aug 2010 08:20:15 +0000

…of the rest of your life.

A poster with that sentiment hung on the door to my fifth-grade classroom at Trinity Elementary School. I remember as a child not understanding what it meant, because the first day of the rest of my life started the day I was born, right and today wasn’t my birthday, wtf?

I asked my teacher, Mrs. Crowley – who later became the Principal, but that’s neither here nor there – to explain it to me.

“Vinnie…” she started as she sat me down. “Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Not the first day of your life. Today is the day in which you decide where you’re headed on this journey. Today is the day you commit to living a full, moral, productive life.”

“But what about tomorrow? Won’t tomorrow be the first day of the rest of my life?” I asked quizzically.

“That’s the magic of life.” She responded. “Everyday is the first day of the rest of your life. Everyday you’ll be faced with problems and dilemmas and issues that make you question the way you do things, those questions will lead to answers, and those answers, will alter the course of the rest of your life.”

Today August 14, 2010, the day I board the Boat, is the first day of the rest of my life, and the best ting about that? If today doesn’t go as planned, the next day or the next or the next, will still be the first day of the rest of my life. We can always start over, that’s the glory of life.

LA Stories

vinnie costa — Sat, 14 Aug 2010 05:15:13 +0000

I never got to experience Los Angeles the way it really should been experienced – with the exception of my one glorious day with Minda G. Ware, but of course I have a few observations:

June Gloom? Has anyone not from LA heard of this phenomenon? It’s when, during the summer, in the mornings, it’s freezing cold and overcast and looks like it’s going to rain and then it doesn’t rain. Then it gets super hot like it should’ve been or not, I hate it, if you don’t wear layers you’ll either freeze or sweat…
In & Out burger ain’t all that…
The only people walking the streets are me and the homeless…
What’s with the over-sized basketball short worn pulled down with socks worn pulled up? The boyz from the ‘hood look hella-wack in LA.
Why are there are no entrances to stores in the front of buildings? WTF?!?
Why is the public transportation so easy to figure out and yet so hard to use?

I am so glad to be gone!

Los Angeles – Everywhere but the ‘hood!

vinnie costa — Fri, 13 Aug 2010 16:57:10 +0000

I was shown a Los Angeles I didn’t know existed – I’ve spent most of my time in LA either at the rehearsal studio, the Sizzler or the “dorm in the ‘hood” without a car to explore, I had to rely on the kindness of strangers and there aren’t too many kind strangers in LA LA Land… I’ve been lucky enough to find one or two.

During one day off, a friend from college, Minda, took me all over and showed me her LA – which did not include a Sizzler; from the Valley to the Hills; down Hollywood Blvd over to Rodeo Drive; the Santa Monica Pier and back to the ‘hood – the one caveat? I had to take public transportation to get to her to begin the day. She’s just 17.4 miles away but according to Metro.net, it would take just over two hours to make the trip.

After two buses and a subway, yes, the land of earthquakes has a subway system – I held my breath the whole time – I arrived to open arms and a friend who hadn’t aged a day in twenty, um, ten years!

We started the day at her favorite brunch place,Vivian’s – in my head it Vivian Vance’s, but that’s neither here nor there – where we met up with Shannon, another college friend who looks better now than then – we are some hot 40somethings…

Vinnie, Minda and Shannon

I had a mini-grand slam, though that’s not what they called it, and it was sorta amazing. We caught up on what each of us were doing with our lives. It’s so nice to know when you haven’t seen someone in over twenty years you can jump right back in where you left off without skipping a beat…

The restaurant’s right across the street from Minda’s apartment in the “Valley” whatever that means – I still don’t understand how Los Angeles works; are they neighborhoods or cities? Is LA a city or a county? Anyway, I digress… after brunch we made a quick stop at Minda’s apt. so she could prove to me not all apartments in LA come with thousands of unwanted guests and then off we went in her wee beastie – that’s her car you dirty minded Jew and Gentile readers.

the hollywood hills

We started out on Mulholland Drive – where I kept my eyes peeled for David Lynch to ask him to explain his movie of the same name, listen, don’t make movies that make me feel stupid, ok!?!

I got my first look at the Hollywood sign from a distance but we kept climbing and climbing and climbing the hills until we could just about touch it. As we were making our way back down, we stopped at a lemonade stand run by the weirdest bunch of inbred kids I’d ever seen…

“Her mother married my father and then they had the twins.” The twins, Cali and Fornia were having a birthday in only ten days, they kept reminding us, I guess they thought if they kept telling us, we’d come back with gifts… The eldest boy poured us our blended lemon drinks made …”with lemons from our own trees…” and I wouldn’t doubt some mind altering drugs, because after we finished, we suddenly felt realllllly good.

the inbreds

It’s hard to see in the picture, but the eldest was swinging around a chef’s knife and insisting he wouldn’t cut his sisters but not very convincingly…

As we made our way down the hills to Hollywood proper, we passed by the Hollywood Bowl and iconic buildings like Capitol Records and the Kodak Theatre which I’d only seen destroyed in the Discovery Channel’s Life After People… it was nice to se them still standing.

We made it to Hollywood Blvd, and as I looked around at what I’d consider a weak rip-off of NYC’s Times Square – they both have a Madame Tussauds and their very own brand of freaks, but that’s pretty much where the similarity ends… I decided not to get out of the car and snapped pictures from the sun-roof, hanging out like a teen at prom in her first limo.

hollywood blvd

All the while I talked up the La Brea Tar Pits. I’m not really sure why I NEEDED to vist the bubbling pits of tar, but I really, really needed to see them with my own eyes.

You see, the tar pits have the largest collection of ice age fossils in the world, because , well basicially, when you’re a saber-toothed tiger and you get stuck in tar, you’re pretty much screwed and you ain’t goin’ nowhere! I didn’t need to go into the museum, the gift-shop sufficed, what I just had to see was the installation in front of the museum.

Three wooly mammoths, Mamma stuck free-floating in the pit while Daddy looks on helplessly and Baby cries…

NOOOOOOO!!!!

Yeah, what ever...

Minda wasn’t all that pleased… but, we did have a lot of fun in the gift shop where the worker told me – as Minda and I were looking for matching mood rings which we did not find, they didn’t have my size – the next day he was going to hear whether or not he was going to be getting his own talk show which Minda later told me, “everyone in LA is waiting for that call…” and I’d swear on a stack of bibles, I saw Wesley Snipes there, I know he’s had some tax issues of late but he had a real nice shopping cart.

With the one thing I NEEDED to do out the way, we were off to the Santa Monica Pier which I quickly renamed the Santa MonTica Pier – I just liked the sound of it, I’ll work on getting it renamed officially when I get off the Boat. Who knew there was so much beauty so close to ‘hood?

When we stopped to get gas and I saw some guy who was on an episode of Charmed and some girl I’m pretty sure played a missing person on Without A Trace and when we got to the beach proper, we saw Barry Boswick and his family just walking like normal people, which, I guess they are…

The beach was packed on the lovely Sunday afternoon and we walked from the pier almost all the way to Venice, weaving through the hotter-than-hot model types, the kite-flyers, the sand-castle builders and the folks who should really’ve been covered up until we hit upon the gypsy market.

I love shopping Hippy Markets but I never make eye contact with the vendors, ’cause if they get you, you’ve just got to buy something and I have more fun making fun of the shoddy craftsmanship.

“Excuse me?” Someone tapped my on the shoulder. “I just wanted to tell you, it’s so nice to see you smiling and hear you laughing, so many people down here take themselves so fucking seriously. This whole state needs to lighten up.”

“Fuck ‘em if they cant take a joke. Life’s too short.” I shot back as Minda and I skipped away.

I took video of the bus ride and beach experience, stay tuned for my pateneted Mini-Movies, coming soon…

Thank you Minda, for showing my your LA! It was a freaking awesome day!

Blood, Sweat and Tears

vinnie costa — Thu, 12 Aug 2010 06:02:01 +0000

you better work!

Yes, that is my blood, I threw that hat so many times it practically became a part of me… bitch ain’t getting dropped again!

Judy Garland’s Other Daughter…

vinnie costa — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 05:31:20 +0000

Vinnie & Lorna

We got a real treat, when the one and only Ms. Lorna Luft came into rehearsal to offer us a master class.

When we got in, did a run of the Broadway Standards show and Ms Luft came in and we worked through the show again, song by song, note by note and line by line.

She directed us. She made us make choices. She challenged us to the point most of us had breakthroughs and/or breakdowns. The fact that she forced us to think about what we were singing – not just sing it – she forced us to make it bigger and forced us to connect to the audience. She reminded us to act, to own our material and to know what we’re singing about.

And through it all she dished. “Oh that one was written by my friend…” “My friend sang that with me… mmmm…” “Oh please, what a bitch…” She had us all in stitches the entire time she was working with us, well, at least the times we weren’t all bawling…

This was one if the best acting experiences I’ve ever had – a master class from a master performer – Lorna made all of us feel special, she made all of us feel important.

It was one of the most eye-opening experiences I’ve had as an actor, part master-class, part therapy session, I’m honored and thrilled to have had the opportunity to work with a legend and will remember every moment of it forever.

Vinnie’s A Pretty Singer

vinnie costa — Sun, 08 Aug 2010 05:36:33 +0000

Once upon a time, way back when I was in college, I was told I’d never be in the chorus because I couldn’t blend with others. Instead of teaching me how to blend, I was groomed for a lifetime of playing the third male comic lead…

I feel as if I’m getting a whole education during this rehearsal process, I’m learning so much more than just song and dance routines, I’m learning a whole new way to be a performer.

And here’s the proof:

Countdown – T Minus Six Days

vinnie costa — Sat, 07 Aug 2010 16:20:08 +0000

In six days I’ll be on the Boat. And while I’m certainly looking forward to it and can’t wait to get out of the Dorm and into my own private cabin, I know the hard work is far from over.

We still have turnover.

Two weeks of putting the shows on their feet with costumes and wigs and turntables and lights and sound – tech week x 20.

I love tech week, I always have, even if I’m only needed for five minutes while some big burly guy screams at me for wearing the wrong color shirt as he focuses a light on me… I’d rather be there than slinging drinks.

I’m really looking forward to it.

Finished!

vinnie costa — Fri, 06 Aug 2010 07:05:56 +0000

We’ve learned the last bit of music and the last bit of ogrophy. We’re done. Six weeks of hard work and stress and anxiety are over!

…And the sigh of relief that issued forth from the diva’s mouth was so loud that it was mistaken by some to be the early onset of the Siroccan Winds which would often roll through the Schwarzwald with a vengeance!

I almost can’t believe we’re actually done: The Girls Show, The Duets Show, The Broadway Review, The Standards Show, The Game Show… all of it, done. we made it through - I made it through – mostly unscathed, a little beaten and bitten, but none worse for the wear.

There were moments I didn’t think I was going to make it, and moments where I thought I couldn’t give anymore than I had, but with a power I didn’t realize was inside me, I completed the task at hand and in my opinion, did a damn fine job of it. Now I’m where I want to be and who I want to be and doing what I always said I would…

A week from today we’ll all be on a plane headed for our final destination. My goodness can the finish line really be that close?

All I want to do is sleep. But it’s not over yet, we’ve got runs and runs and runs and runs, two weeks of turn-over… getting used to Boat living… there’s still much to do and now, no time to do it.