Setting: Golden Boy, The Belasco Theatre, Broadway

Cast: Water Vendor and Mandy Patinkin

First Intermission:

Vendor: “Bottled water, snacks, red or white wine.”

Mandy: How much are the M&M’s?”

Vendor: “Four.” (Never say dollars.)

Mandy: “Do you take cards?”

Vendor: “No, but the bar does.”

Mandy does not go to the bar, he hovers as most celebrities seem want to do.

Second Intermission:

Mandy: “Four dollars, huh?”

Vendor: “Still.”

Mandy: “No, I don’t need them.” Continues to hover.

Vendor: “Bottled water, snacks, red or white wine.”

Vendor: “Bottled water, snacks, red or white wine.”

Vendor: “Bottled water, snacks, red or white wine.”

Vendor: “You need to move, Mandy Patinkin. People are afraid to buy water with you standing there. Mandy Patinkin.

Mandy: “Oh, I’m sorry.”

Vendor: “It’s alright, I’m Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die.”

Mandy shuffles away chuckling.

Share