I stood and watched for 20 minutes as the sheep seeing Evita crashed into glass doors trying to get into the theater.

You see, there are two large revolving glass doors, large enough for hundreds to pass through in a short amount of time. The doors are automatic and begin to revolve when someone walk to the door. The doors are very clearly marked Automatic and Do Not Push, but I’m to assume now, most of the population can not read.

As soon as the glass door gets touched the mechanism stops; when the doors stop, people start to push on the doors…it a vicious cycle….

So, I’m sitting there, watching people walk past the regular doors, push themselves into the automatic doors and stop the mechanism and force the folks in the other compartment to get smashed, begin to panic, push over and over.

I was powerless to help.

To make matters worse, the escalator going up to the third floor entrance was off. Instead of walking up under their own power or using the empty, working escalator 20 yards away. They just stood there, lost.

As the crowd began to dangerously bottleneck at the escalators first step, I feared a trampling event was about to occur, and I was powerless to do anything…well, Jew and Gentile Readers, I could have used the regular door and shouted, “A turned off escalator is a stair case!” As to remind them, they had the power of self-locomotion. Or, “If y’all can manage to turn your heads to the right, y’all will see an empty working moving staircase, move on ‘lil doggie, heyee!”

Instead, I sat and watched.

A maintenance worker arrived, fiddled, pointed out the working escalator and bank of fifteen elevators and left; the stairs still unmoving. A large portion of the herd broke off to make their way to the peoplemovers.

My lunch break was over and I pushed my way through the crowd to get back to work. I saw a lone blue-hair, with two canes, slowly begin to make her way up the still stopped stairs…

…I started a slow clap…