for your VINformation

My Kodak is broken.

I’ve no idea what happened, it’s less than two years old so it certainly can’t be old age…

Anyway, it looks like I’ll be buying a new one, any advice?

#23 - Sing, laugh, leave. Do I get a new audition song? Shows I can do. Would be nice.

#24 - Sing, laugh, about to leave asked to sing again same song 1/3 higher. Sounded good, very good in fact. Was told to sing it that way from now on, mayhaps I will…

Vinnie is an old, fat, lonely, unhappy, ex-non-smoker.

Life throws curve-balls at me everyday, I keep swinging but still, I’m striking out over and over again.

These question run through my head:

1. How many times do I have to start over?
2. How many times do I have to take stock of what I have and what I haven’t?
3. How many times do I re-double my efforts?
4. What if I can’t land on my feet this time?

I’m tired of sounding like a broken record and I’m sure this current crisis is brought on by my impending milestone birthday - it’s funny, everyone I know over 40 says it’s no big deal, and everyone I know under 40 thinks my life is practically over, personally, I’m still undecided but the feelings are real nonetheless.

I’m questioning, and obsessing and waffling and flip-flopping. I’m happy, I’m sad, I’m elated, I’m depressed all at the same time. I’m miserable. I’m searching for something, trying to fill a void in my life with food and nicotine and destructive thoughts…

I don’t do what I should do and do do what I shouldn’t do.

After almost three weeks of not smoking, I broke down and bought a pack and it just makes me sick to my very large stomach! I’m not a weak person, I always persevere, always overcome adversity - so tell me why this one goal is unattainable?

Questions:

1. Why won’t stopping stick?
2. Why is it so hard this time?
3. How can I want something so bad and not make it happen?

I hate using this forum to vent, but being completely alone, I don’t have anyone to talk all this out with and by that I mean, while I have a great support system of dear, dear friends, I don’t have anyone special who loves me warts and all and I’m tired of forcing my friends to listen to this over and over and over again.

Questions:

1. Will I be the bachelor uncle for the rest of my life?
2. Will I ever have someone to share the good and bad times?
3. Will a person ever look at me with same love in his eyes that I get from Molly and Joey?

I guess I really don’t know how to even look for love anymore. I thought working at the Dulpex would be a help, but after two years, still no prospects. I haven’t had sex since I was in Rio, do I have to leave the country again to have relations?

I hate working at the Duplex, I hate working at Americana, I hate working at Equity. I hate working in general. Survival jobs suck and I feel as if I’m just spinning my wheels never getting anywhere. I’m dancing as fast as I can!

As Tom 2i’s 2e’s put it, "I’m never happy working, because I just don’t like working." While that may be true, I love performing and I’ve yet to be unhappy doing that, when I do it, of course, and get paid for it. But even that’s becoming trying.

Questions:

1. When am I going to be able to make money doing something I love?
2. When am I going to stop being a starving artist?

Example: I had an awesome meet and greet with a casting director who informed the group that she was in the midst of casting a live action project for Adult Swim. I felt we had made a connection, having a lot in common and having a great read. Two days later, I see the casting notice up on Actor’s Access, and lo and behold, there is a role for which I’d be perfect. I submit, with a friendly note of thanks - it was great meeting you, blah, blah, blah - and I heard nothing.

Add that to the fact I apparently don’t know my age range, I’m totally frustrated with the business we call show.

I am so severely unfulfilled in every aspect of my life that my life feels worthless. Mayhaps I’m just worried that I’ll never leave a mark on this big blue marble and that makes me very sad.

My ankle still hurts after over two months, making it harder and harder to live a normal life. My timing is way off. What once would be a five minute walk to work now can take up to fifteen. Working, any of my current jobs leaves me in agony after only a few hours and I’m undoubtedly destroying my liver popping five Advil at a time just for a minute respite from the pain.

But, like every other time in my life, I’ll make it through this low time and come out stronger for it, after all, it is what I do.

The other day, I was asked, "Vinnie, why do you keep submitting yourself for roles 40 and above?"

I answered, "’Cause I’m 40."

"Well, you don’t look it. I’d say, your age range is 25-35."

"I thank you for the compliment, but I really can’t agree with you, while I’ve looked the same since I was 22, I think 25-35 is pushing it…what does 40 look like to you?"

She pointed to a man clearly in his 60’s and said, "Him."

Now, I may be totally clueless, but in my opinion, this is what 40 looks like:

In the window of the NYC Museum of Sex.

Shocking yet titillating.

When I weighed myself yesterday AM, I hadn’t pooped in two days.

I re-weighed myself today after finally poopin’.

Current weight: 210 lbs.

Weight lost this week 2.5 lbs.

I’m takin’ it!

Surprisingly, great -
critics overly harsh. Big,
loud, fun - like me!

To give a little more info, one of my college friends, Michelle Ragusa has taken over for Megan Mullay and I gotta tell you, she was amazing. This woman needs to be a star!

Slowly, the added non-smoker weight will come off.

I registered a one pound loss!

I don’t think I make my goal, but it doesn’t mean I’ll be stopping…

Here’s the current rundown:

• Starting weight: 225 lbs.
• Week one’s weight: 221.5 lbs.
• Week two’s weight: 213.5 lbs.
• Week three’s weight: 213.5 lbs.
• Week four’s weight 215.5 lbs
• Week five’s weight: 214 lbs
• Week six’s weight: 213.5 lbs
• Week seven’s weight: 209.5
• Week eight’s weight: 206.5
• Week nine’s weight: 203.5
• Week ten’s weight: 212.5
• Week eleven, current weight: 211.5 210

Weight lost this week: 2.5 lbs

Why do the ladies wear skin tight bikinis and the men wear board shorts and aren’t even shirtless?

Is it just me or are the woman spelling-out the word JELLO having grand-mal seizures?

What happened to Bill Cosby?

Laughter is a drug -
The FB cast are dealers.
Face hurts, still, next day.

Ok, so it’s a day late - but it’s a really great picture and worth the wait…

My garden is thriving without any help from me.

I’m growing all sorts of lovely flowers…and…other things.

And it looks like she’s just about ready to pluck!

What did you see today?

After a long day and even longer night, I’m over it.

I’m over the smoking and the eating and depression and the bad skin and hurt ankle and the linger effects of the mono and the ants and the death and everything.

I’m just over it.

I don’t want to smoke cigarettes anymore and I’m not going to - I can and will beat this addiction.

I don’t want to get stoned any more and I won’t - for the time being, munchies and loosing weight don’t combine well I’ve found and besides, after a few months off from the wacky weed.

I don’t want to be fat and I will lose weight - is another gym membership in my future? why am I not friends with a personal trainer who’ll work me out for free?

Getting better by 40 ain’t so important anymore - since everyone I meet from now on, will know me as 35, but that’s another story for another day - I just want to be healthy.

A healthy drunk.

I got an email today from the producer of the oft mentioned Bernie’s Spots.

They’ve decided and rightly so, in my opinion, to revisit the Bernie’s Elf for the upcoming holiday season. Originally, they were just going to rerun the already shot spots, not shoot new spots and when all new spots were stopped, I didn’t think I shoot another.

Vinnie’s working again!

And now, a little treat. Here are the six spots I’ve already done in their entirity, six spots, 30 seconds each, enjoy!

Major setback!

The stopping smoking has affected my weight loss. In fact, it reversed it.

When I got on the scale this morning, I expected a slight weight gain, but by no means was I expecting a gain of nine pounds.

Nine pounds!

The problem, in a nutshell, is this: I was losing weight by eating six small meals a day; basically, I ate small portions whenever my body told me I was hungry throughout the day and I didn’t eat after 9:30 PM. Nicotine withdrawal feels like hunger pang - it’s not a very strong pang, it just feels like "mmm, something’s missing, I have a hole that needs filling…"

The problem is, I can’t tell the difference between the two. All I know; eating does NOT satisfy the nicotine pang. Add that to my appetite for sweets has somehow, as if in a puff of smoke, magically reappeared.

I am very upset, a wee bit depressed and my mind is reeling. I’m about to give up on all these "life-bettering" endeavors; you know, order a pizza and smoke a cigarette and a joint while I scarf it all down and follow it with a thick, rich chocolate shake…

I feel like I’m back at the beginning again and don’t know if I have the strength to start over, yet again…

Here’s the current rundown:

• Starting weight: 225 lbs.
• Week one’s weight: 221.5 lbs.
• Week two’s weight: 213.5 lbs.
• Week three’s weight: 213.5 lbs.
• Week four’s weight 215.5 lbs
• Week five’s weight: 214 lbs
• Week six’s weight: 213.5 lbs
• Week seven’s weight: 209.5
• Week eight’s weight: 206.5
• Week nine’s weight: 203.5
• Week ten, current weight: 212.5

Weight lost this week: -9 lbs